Kunoma yiliphi iyunithi yomndeni, kuyinto evamile ngabantu abadala ukuba yitshe lesisekelo, bahlinzeke ngokuphepha nokunakekela amalungu amancane. Endaweni enempilo, abazali banesibopho sokuhlangabezana nezidingo eziyisisekelo, banikeze ukwesekwa ngokwezimali, futhi, ngaphezu kwakho konke, banikeze ukwesekwa ngokomzwelo, bavumele izingane ukuba zijabulele ubuntwana bazo ngaphandle kwemithwalo eminingi, ngaleyo ndlela zikhuthaze ukukhulisa izingane ngokusekelwe ekubopheni nasekuthuthukisweni.
Kodwa-ke, kunezimo lapho le ndlela iguqulwa ngokuphelele. Sikhuluma ngesimo esibucayi lapho izindima ziguqulwa khona bese ingane igcina isiba ngumnakekeli wabazali bayo. Lokhu kuguquguquka, okwaziwa kwezengqondo ngokuthi ukukhulisa izingane , kumelela ukuguqulwa kwendima okungashiya amamaki ajulile engqondweni yengane.
Yini ngempela equkethwe ukukhulisa izingane?
Lo mqondo wethulwa udokotela wezifo zengqondo u-Ivan Böszörményi-Nagy, owathola ukuthi emindenini engasebenzi kahle inqubo iyenzeka, ngokuvamile ingazi lutho, lapho ingane ithatha khona imisebenzi engaphezu kokuvuthwa kwayo. Akukhona ukusiza endlini, okuyinto enempilo, kodwa kunalokho mayelana nengane ephoqeleka ukuba iziphathe njengomuntu omdala ukuze umndeni usinde noma uhlale uzinzile.
Kuyisenzakalo esikhohlisayo ngoba, ngezinye izikhathi, indawo yomphakathi ikubona njengento enhle. Sihlangana nezingane ezinconywa ngokuba zivuthiwe ngokweminyaka yazo noma ezinomthwalo wemfanelo omkhulu, kanti empeleni okwenzekayo ukuthi ubumsulwa bazo buntshontshiwe. Lokhu kucindezela kubaphoqa ukuba balalele kakhulu futhi banake, badele izidingo zabo ngenxa yabazali babo.
Izici ezibangela lokhu kuguquguquka
Ukukhulisa izingane akuveli ngokuzenzakalelayo; ngokuvamile kuyimpendulo yokuntuleka kokunakekelwa. Izimbangela ezivamile zifaka phakathi impilo engeyinhle yomzimba noma yengqondo kubazali, ukusetshenziswa kwezidakamizwa okuyinkinga , noma ukungabikho kwenethiwekhi yokusekela abantu abadala eyanele. Ezimweni zosizi, njengalapho izingane zakubo ziyizintandane, kuvamile ukuthi omdala athathe ubuholi.
Ukuphazamiseka kobuntu nakho kudlala indima. Isibonelo, abazali abanezici zokuzikhukhumeza bangase babonise ubuthakathaka babo enganeni yabo, beyiphoqa ukuba ibe yisibonelo sempumelelo noma ukwesekwa kwengqondo komzali . Ngokufanayo, izinkinga ezinkulu zomnotho noma isehlukaniso esiphikisana kakhulu singashukumisela ingane ukuba isebenze njengomlamuleli noma ithulule isifuba ezindabeni ezingaphezu kokuqonda kwayo.
Izinhlobo zokukhulisa izingane: izinsimbi zomculo kanye nemizwa
Akuzona zonke izinguquko zendima ezifanayo. Ukukhulisa izingane ngezinsimbi kugxila emisebenzini ebonakalayo: ingane ithatha ukupheka, ukuhlanza, ukuyothenga ukudla, noma ukunakekela impilo yelungu lomndeni kanye nezingane zakubo. Nakuba kuyinto ebonakala kakhulu, kubhekwa njengengalimazanga kangako kunolunye uhlobo, ngaphandle kokuthi kuhilela ingane ukuthi isebenze ukuze yondle ikhaya.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukukhulisa izingane ngokomzwelo kuyinto ecashile kakhulu futhi kunzima ukuyibona. Lapha, ingane iba yisiphephelo semizwa somuntu omdala. Bacelwa ukuba baqinisekise umzali okhathazekile, bagcine izimfihlo zomndeni ezibuhlungu, noma baphathe izingxabano zombhangqwana. Le ndima ibuhlungu kakhulu ngoba ingane ilahlekelwa ilungelo layo lokunakekelwa , njengoba imizwa yayo ibekwa esikhundleni sesibili.
Izimpawu nemiphumela ekuthuthukisweni
Umthelela wokuphila kanje mkhulu kakhulu. Ngesikhathi sobuntwana, ukucindezeleka nokukhathazeka kuyakhula, ngezinye izikhathi kubonakala njengezimpawu zomzimba njengekhanda elibuhlungu noma izinhlungu zesisu ngaphandle kwesizathu sezokwelapha. Iningi lalaba bantwana linenkinga yokudlala nontanga yabo ngoba abazi ukuthi bangaxhumana kanjani nokungazelelwe kweminyaka yabo.
Lapho umuntu efika ebusheni , kuvamile ukuthi kuvele umuzwa wecala omkhulu kanye nomuzwa wokuthi ulahlekelwe ubuntwana. Abanye bangase baphendukele ezintweni ezizodambisa ubuhlungu. Lapho sebekhulile, lokhu kuvame ukuholela ku- imposter syndrome , lapho umuntu ezwa khona ukuthi impumelelo yakhe ingenxa yenhlanhla hhayi ikhono, okuvela ekungazethembi okungapheli.
Ezindaweni zobudlelwano, abantu abadala abanabazali bavame ukuba nomthwalo wemfanelo omkhulu futhi bathembele komunye nomunye . Banomkhuba wemvelo wokusindisa abanye, bebeka izidingo zabanye phambili kunezabo futhi bahlala belwela ukumisa imingcele enempilo. Bavame ukuba "ngabadali bokuthula" beqembu, besaba ukuthi uma bengasebenzi, bazoyeka ukuhlonishwa.
Indlela eya ekwelapheni
Ngenhlanhla, lokhu kuhlukumezeka kobudlelwano kungaxazululwa. Isinyathelo sokuqala ukubiza okwenzekile nokuvuma ukuthi lokho okwenzeke kwakuwuhlobo lokunganakwa noma ukuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo. Ukuqaphela ubuhlungu nentukuthelo evela ekubeni "ingane endala" kubalulekile ekuqaleni ukwakha kabusha ubuwena bomuntu.
Ukwelashwa kwengqondo okukhethekile kokuhlukumezeka kuyithuluzi eliphumelela kakhulu. Ngalo, abantu bangasebenza ekuzithembeni kwabo futhi bafunde ukuthi abanasibopho senjabulo yabanye . Kubalulekile ukuhlakulela uzwela nokuthola kabusha imisebenzi eyondla umoya ngaphandle kokuzizwa ucindezelekile ukuthi uhlale utholakala kuwo wonke umhlaba.
Ukuthola kabusha ikhono lokujabulela impilo nokuyeka kuyinqubo ehamba kancane kodwa engenzeka. Ngokubeka imingcele ecacile nokuzizungeza nabantu abazisa ubunjalo bomuntu hhayi nje ikhono lakhe lokukhonza, umuntu omdala angagcina ephulukisa ingane yakhe yangaphakathi futhi akhe ubudlelwano obusekelwe ekubuyiseleni, hhayi esikweletini esingokomzwelo.
Lesi simo esiyinkimbinkimbi sisifundisa ukuthi ukuhlonipha izigaba zokukhula kungcwele. Lapho ubuholi bomndeni buwohloka futhi ingane ithatha isisindo somhlaba, kudalwa inxeba elidinga isikhathi, ukuqwashisa, kanye nokusekelwa kochwepheshe ukuze kuphole, okuvumela umuntu ukuba ashintshe ekubeni ngumnakekeli okhathele abe umuntu okwazi ukuzinakekela ngothando nangenkululeko.