Ukuqiniseka kuyadingeka emphakathini esihlala kuwo, ngoba kuphela futhi ngenxa yawo sizokwazi ukuxhumana ngempumelelo nabanye. Empeleni, ukuqiniseka kubhekwa njengesitayela sokuxhumana nesokuziphatha esisebenza kahle kakhulu. Kusivumela ukulawula imicabango nemizwa futhi sakhe futhi sigcine ubudlelwane obunempilo nathi kanye nabanye. Amalungelo okuqinisekisa nawo ayimfuneko ekuxhumaneni kwabantu.
Ukuqiniseka okujwayelekile, ukucabanga kwengqondo kanye nemvelo yezenhlalo eyenza ukufezekiswa kwezinjongo zomuntu siqu nezomsebenzi. Inezinzuzo eziningi yingakho kungelinye lamakhono abantu abafuna ukuwakhulisa kakhulu ukuthuthukisa indlela yabo yokuphila nobudlelwano phakathi kwabantu. Kuyindlela eya ekuzimeleni komcabango, ubuqiniso nokukwazi ukuhlala emphakathini onokuthula.
Ukuzethemba kubantu
Ukuqiniseka kusho ikhono eliyinkimbinkimbi lokucabanga, sabela ngokomzwelo futhi wenze ngendlela engeyona eyokwenza izinto ngokunganaki kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo engeyona eyobudlovaUmuntu oqinisekayo uzokwazi ukuveza imibono yakhe obala, kanye nemizwa yakhe, izidingo zakhe, nezifiso zakhe ngendlela ebonisa inhlonipho ngamalungelo akhe kodwa nangamalungelo abanye.
Ngalo mqondo, ukuzethemba kuhluke ngokusobala kwezinye izindlela ezimbili zokuxhumana ezivame kakhulu: isitayela esingenzi lutho futhi i isitayela esinolakaUkuqonda lo mehluko kukusiza ukuthi uqaphele indlela oxhumana ngayo nabanye nokuthi yiziphi izinguquko ongazenza.
Isitayela esingasebenzi
Ekuxhumaneni okungenamsebenzi kukhona ukugwema njalo ukubhekana Ngokuqondile nabanye. Umuntu akavikeli amalungelo akhe, uthambekele ekuzithobeni, futhi ucindezela imizwa yakhe ngenxa yokwesaba ukwenqatshwa, ingxabano, noma ukungathandwa. Ngokuvamile bagxila kakhulu ekujabuliseni abanye nasekufanelekeni, ngisho noma lokho kusho ukwenza okuphambene nezidingo zabo.
Ukuxhumana okungenamsebenzi kuvamile kubantu ababonisa ukuzethemba okuphansi kanye nemizwa yokungazethembiBavame ukucabanga ukuthi lokho abakudingayo “akubalulekile kangako,” ukuthi kungcono ukungabakhathazi abanye, noma ukuthi ukuziveza ngokucacile kuwubugovu. Lokhu kudala inzondo, ukukhungatheka, kanye nomuzwa wokungabi namandla okulawula izimpilo zabo.
Isibonelo sesitayela sokungasebenzi: ULaura ubesebenza isigamu sehora izinsuku ezintathu zilandelana ngoba ozakwabo bebemcela ukuthi abasize ukuze bakwazi ukwenza ama-aphoyintimenti abo. ULaura ukhathele kakhulu futhi namuhla ungathanda ukuhamba kusenesikhathi ukuze ayobona umdlalo wesikole wendodana yakhe. Wayehlele ukucela omunye wozakwabo ukuthi amsize, kodwa lozakwabo uyamnqoba futhi ucela uLaura ukuthi amsize futhi. ULaura uthukuthele ngoba usevele emsize kuleli sonto nakwamanye amasonto, futhi ufuna nokubona indodana yakhe. Kodwa-ke, wesaba ukubangela ukungezwani nozakwabo futhi unquma ukumsiza futhi, okusho ukuthi usephuzile ukumbona indodana yakhe.
Isitayela esinolaka
Kulolu hlobo lokuxhumana, umuntu Akanqikazi ukunyathela amalungelo abanye. ukufeza imigomo yabo. Uzwela alukho ngokusobala kulesi sitayela sobudlova, njengoba kunjalo nokuhlonipha imibono nemizwa yabanye. Bangase babe abantu abaphakamisa amazwi abo, bahleke usulu, basongele, noma baze babe nobudlova lapho benomuzwa wokuthi indlela yabo ayithathwa.
Lesi sitayela singanikeza umuzwa wamandla nokulawula esikhathini esifushane, kodwa kunciphisa ubudlelwano Futhi kuvame ukudala ukwesaba, inzondo, kanye nokuqhelelana kwabanye. Esikhathini esiphakathi nesikhathi eside, umuntu onolaka uvame ukuba nesizungu, izingxabano eziqhubekayo, kanye nobunzima bokugcina ubudlelwano obuhle.
Isibonelo sesitayela sobudlova: UMonica usekhefini futhi u-oda i-latte ebandayo ku-weita, kodwa umlethela eshisayo. Lapho eyinambitha, uvutha ulimi lwakhe futhi uthukuthele kakhulu. Umemeza ku-weita, embiza ngokuthi akasizi ngalutho futhi ethi kufanele axoshwe. UMonica ugcina exoshiwe ekhefini.
Isitayela sokuzigqaja
Ukuziphatha okuzigqajayo kuyinto ibhalansi phakathi kwesitayela sokungasebenzi kanye nesobudlovaUmuntu uyawahlonipha amalungelo nemizwa yabanye ngaphandle kokudebeselela eyakhe. Abantu abanesibindi bayazethemba, banokuzethemba okunempilo, futhi bayazazisa bona kanye nalabo abaseduze nabo.
Lokhu kuhumusha ikhono lokusho abakucabangayo, ukucela abakudingayo, ukubeka imingcele, kanye nokuxoxisana ngezivumelwano, konke lokhu kusukela ku- inhlonipho, ukucaca kanye nokwethembekaAbafuni ukuziphoqelela, kodwa futhi abazisuli noma bazidele njalo.
Isibonelo sesitayela sokuzigqaja: ULuisa ufika ekhaya athole zonke izitsha zingagezwanga. Kwakuyithuba lomlingani wakhe uDaniel ngalolo suku, kodwa umtshela ukuthi ubesebenza kakhulu futhi ukhathele. ULuisa uphendula ngokuthi uyaqonda ukuthi ukhathele ngenxa yomsebenzi; naye uzizwa ngendlela efanayo. Kodwa-ke, umkhumbuza ukuthi sebebeke isimiso okumele basilandele bobabili, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi basebenza kanjani, njengoba imisebenzi yasekhaya ihlukaniswe ngokulinganayo, futhi uma enza eyakhe, naye kufanele enze kanjalo, ngenxa yabo bobabili. Ekugcineni uDaniel unquma ukuhlanza izitsha ngalobo busuku, futhi uLuisa uzenzela ngosuku olulandelayo.
Konke lokhu kwaziwa njengomqondo wezindlela eziningi, futhi ukuze athole izinzuzo zalesi sitayela sokuxhumana nokuziphatha, umuntu udinga nendlela yezindlela eziningi. Lokhu okulandelayo kumele kubhekwe: amaphethini wokucabanga (ukucabanga okunengqondo), ukuqonda amaphethini akho emizwa nokuthi ungawaveza kanjani lawa mazwa angaphakathi ekuziphatheni okubonakalayo, njengokuthi ukuxhumana ngamazwi nokungakhulumi kanye nokuphathwa okujwayelekile kobudlelwano bezenhlalo.
Yenza kusebenze ukuzithemba
Ukuze kuthuthukiswe ukuqiniseka kwabantu, kudingeka kuqaliswe ukusebenza, futhi lokhu kusho ukuthi ukuzijwayeza kaningi ngangokunokwenzekaUkuzigqaja kufanele kube yindlela yakho eyinhloko yokuxhumana nokuziphatha, ngoba kuzoba namandla okubumba imicabango yakho, isimo sakho sengqondo, kanye nendlela abanye abaxhumana ngayo nawe.
Ukuvuselela ukuqiniseka kuhilela:
- Yazi ngendlela ovame ukuxhumana ngayo (ukungabi nandaba, ukuba nolaka, ukungabi nandaba noma ukuqiniseka).
- Yazi amalungelo akho okuqinisekisaukuze ukwazi ukuzifunela zona futhi uzihloniphe kwabanye.
- Qeqesha izimpendulo ezintsha ukukhuluma nokungakhulumi (ukubuka, ukuma, ithoni yezwi, ulimi lomzimba).
- zijwayeze ukuzwelanaUkuqonda ukuthi amalungelo akho abaluleke njengawabanye abantu.
- Ukuphatha umuzwa wecala nokwesaba izingxabanokuvamile uma uqala ukuthi "cha" noma ubeka imingcele.
Njengamanje, kunezinhlu eziningi zamalungelo okuqinisekisa, amanye amade kunamanye. Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi alukho uhlu olulodwa oluqondile lwamalungelo okuqinisekisa; ngokuvamile, yilona ingqondo futhi inhlonipho ehlangene iqondisa ukwakheka kwazo. Zonke izinhlu ziyizitatimende ezizimele, kodwa okwenza zisebenze ngempela kumongo wentuthuko yomuntu siqu ukuthi Zitholakala ezimisweni eziyisisekelo zokuqiniseka: inkululeko esemthethweni, ubuqiniso kanye nenhlalakahle.
Ukusebenzisa la malungelo kuhlose futhi ukusungula imingcele enempiloUkukwazi ukuthi “cha” ngaphandle kokuzizwa unobugovu, ukucela usizo lapho kudingeka, ukuveza ubuhlungu noma injabulo, nokwenza njalo ngenhlonipho ngabanye, ngaphandle kokulimaza ezinye izidalwa noma imvelo. Amalungelo abantu ayisisekelo namalungelo okuqinisekisa anokufana okuthile, kodwa lokhu kokugcina kugxila kakhulu ku izimo zokuxhumana ngaphakathi kokuxhumana komuntu siqu.
Kungani kukuhle ukuzikhandla?
Uma unesibindi, uzozizwa ukhululekile ukuveza nokuveza imicabango nezifiso zakho ngamazwi, izenzo, noma izenzo. Uzohlala uzizwa kanje: "Yimi lo, yilokhu engikucabangayo, engikufunayo, nengikuzwayo", ngaphandle kokudinga ukuziphoqelela noma ukunyamalala ukuze ujabulise.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, uzokwazi ukuxhumana nabantu banoma yiluphi uhlobo noma izinga, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi bangumndeni, abangani, abantu ongabazi, abaphathi bebhizinisi noma ochwepheshe. Ukuxhumana kuba umnyango ovulekile, oqondile, oqotho, nofaneleLokhu kunciphisa ukungaqondani, amagqubu angakhulunywa, kanye nezingxabano ezingadingekile.
Abantu abanesitayela sokuzigqaja bavame ukukhombisa:
- Ukuzijwayeza okukhulu kokusebenza empilweniBayazi ukuthi bafunani, ukuthi bafuna nini, nokuthi bafuna kanjani, futhi bathatha isinyathelo sokukuthola.
- Ikhono lokwenza izinqumo zihambisana nezindinganiso zazo, esikhundleni sokuqondiswa kuphela yingcindezi yangaphandle.
- Isibopho somuntu siquBayazamukela imikhawulo yabo futhi bayaqonda ukuthi akudingeki banqobe ngaso sonke isikhathi, kodwa bayazivumela ukuthi bazame.
- Ukuzethemba okuqinileBayaqaphela impumelelo yomunye nomunye futhi bakhulumisana ngenhlonipho, ngaphandle kwesidingo sokulindela ukuphelela ngokweqile.
Bayazi futhi ukuthi ukuziphatha kwabo kuhle nokuthi izenzo zabo zizovikelwa yizizathu ezinhle, izenzo, kanye nokuziphatha. Bazozizwa benamandla ngoba bangabantu bakwazi ukuveza imizwa yabo ngokwethembeka ngaphandle kokulimaza abanye noma ukungena ezingxabanweni ezingadingekile.
Ngokombono wokuhlakanipha ngokomzwelo, ukuzijwayeza ukuqiniseka kunikeza izinzuzo ezicacile kakhulu:
- Thuthukisa ukuzethembangoba kuqinisa umqondo wokuthi izidingo zakho kanye nemizwa yakho kubalulekile.
- Ncipha ukucindezelekangokunciphisa umuzwa wokuzibophezela unomphela noma umzabalazo oqhubekayo.
- Iqinisa ubudlelwanongokusekela inhlonipho nokuxhumana okucacile.
- Kukhuthaza ukulawulwa kwemizwelongoba ikuvumela ukuthi uveze lokho okuzwayo esikhundleni sokucindezela noma ukuqhuma.
Izitayela zokuxhumana kanye nobudlelwano bazo namalungelo okuqinisekisa
Ukuze uqonde kangcono amalungelo okuqinisekisa ukuxhumana, kuyasiza ukujula kancane kulokho izindlela ezahlukene zokuxhumana nokuthi zihlobene kanjani nendlela esisebenzisa ngayo (noma cha) lawo malungelo.
Umuntu ongenzi lutho
Umuntu ongenzi lutho akahloniphi amalungelo akhe okuziqinisa futhi, uma eke wazama ukwenza kanjalo, uvame ukuzizwa kabi ngakho. Ubeka inhlalakahle yakhe, izifiso zakhe, kanye nemibono yakhe ngaphansi kweyabanye.ngokuvamile ngoba abazizwa bengakwazi ukuzivikela, ukuziveza, noma ngoba nje bekholelwa ukuthi “abafaneleki” njengabanye.
Izinkolelo ezivamile zifaka phakathi imibono efana nokuthi: “ukusho engikufunayo kuwubugovu,” “uma ngithi cha, ngizothandwa,” “uma ngikhuluma okusenhliziyweni yami, ngizolahlekelwa yibo bonke abangane bami,” noma “Akufanele ngithwalise abanye ngezinkinga zami.” Lezi zinkolelo zikhuthaza ukuxhumana lapho umuntu ehlala khona ethule, ecindezela imizwa yakhe, futhi eqoqa ukukhungatheka.
Ezingeni lokuziphatha ngamazwi nangokungakhulumi, kuvame ukuba khona ivolumu yezwi ephansiUkungabaza, ukuthula, ukugwema ukuxhumana emehlweni, ukuma okubuthakathaka, kanye nezimpawu zokungabi namandla kuyinto evamile. Ngokwemizwelo, imizwa yokungabi namandla, umuzwa wecala, ukuzethemba okuphansi, ukukhungatheka, kanye nokukhathazeka kuvamile.
Umuntu onolaka
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, umuntu onolaka, ayihloniphi amalungelo abanye abantu abawasekelayoFuthi uma kwenzeka bekwenza lokho, bazizwa bebuthakathaka noma bengenabo ubuqotho. Bayibheka njengebaluleke kakhulu imibono nezidingo zabo ngaphezu kwakho konke okunye futhi bavame ukucabanga ukuthi "balungile" nokuthi lokho abakufunayo kubaluleke kakhulu kunalokho abanye abakufunayo.
Phakathi kwezinkolelo zabo ezivamile kukhona: “Anginandaba nokuthi abanye bacabangani,” “Ngizothola engikufunayo,” “Abangitsheli lutho oluthakazelisayo.” Ekukhulumisaneni, bavame ukugcizelela ithoni yezwi enamandlaUkuxhumana okubandayo nokunobushiqela, ukuphazamiseka okuvamile, ukubheka okugxilile kanye nenhlonipho encane ngesikhala somuntu siqu.
Ezingeni lemizwa, ngaphansi kwalokho kubonakala kwamandla bavame ukufihla ukukhathazeka, ukukhungatheka, intukuthelo engapheli, kanye nokuzenyezakanye nobunzima obukhulu ekusondeleni nasekuthembaneni kwangempela ebudlelwaneni.
Umuntu ongenzi lutho futhi onolaka
Lolu hlobo lwabantu alunandaba okwesikhashana, kodwa lapho ukukhungatheka kwabo kukhula futhi bengasakwazi ukukubekezelela, bayaqhuma futhi baye kolunye uhlangothi. Abavezi ngqo ukuthi yini ebakhathazayokodwa bakuveza ngokungaqondile ngokuhlekisa, ukuthula isikhathi eside, ukukhohlwa "okungajwayelekile", ukubambezeleka noma ukuphawula okubhuqayo.
Lesi sitayela sidala ukudideka okukhulu kanye nokungezwani ebudlelwaneni, ngoba Akukho ukuxhumana okucacile Futhi ingxabano iqhutshwa imiyalezo engaqondakali, ukusola okufihliwe, kanye nokuziphatha okulimaza omunye ngaphandle kokukhuluma izinto ngqo.
Umuntu onesibindi
Umuntu oqinisekisayo uyawahlonipha amalungelo akhe kanye namalungelo abanye. Uzwela, uyalalela umuntu okhuluma naye, futhi ufuna ukuqonda umbono wakhe, kodwa futhi Uyazi ukuthi angaveza kanjani imibono yakhe nezidingo zakhe ngaphandle kokwesaba noma ukuzikhukhumeza..
Ezingeni lomlomo, ugcina izinga lezwi lengxoxoBakhuluma ngokucacile nangendlela ehlelekile, baveza imizwa yabo ngokomuntu wokuqala (“Ngicabanga,” “Ngiyadinga,” “Ngiyazizwa”), futhi bagwema ukuhlaselwa komuntu siqu. Ngaphandle kokusho, bagcina ukubhekana kwamehlo okufanele, ukuma okukhululekile, kanye nokushukuma komzimba okuhambisana nomyalezo wabo.
Ngokwemizwa, uvame ukuzwa ukuthula okukhulu, inhlonipho ngaye nakwabanye, ukwamukelwa, uzwela, kanye nomuzwa wokulawula ngokomzwelo. Lesi sitayela senza kube lula ukusetshenziswa kwangempela kwamalungelo okuqinisekisa ngoba Kuhlanganisa ukuzinakekela kanye nokuhlonipha abanye..
Amalungelo okuqinisekisa angu-28 kwezokuxhumana
Ukwazi amalungelo akho okuqinisekisa kuyisinyathelo sokuqala sokukwazi ukuwasebenzisa. Lawa amalungelo onawo ngokuba ngumuntu nje.Lokhu kukusiza ukuthi ugcine ukuxhumana okulinganiselayo nokunenhlonipho nawe kanye nabanye. Ngezansi uhlu oluphelele oluhlanganisa eziningi ezibaluleke kakhulu:
- Ilungelo lokuhlonishwa nesithunzi.
- Ilungelo lokuba nemizwa nemibono ukukwazi ukuveza lokho ngaphandle kokwephula isithunzi sabanye.
- Ilungelo lokuzinqumela.
- Ilungelo lokunquma ukuthi ukuziphatha komuntu kuhambisana yini nokulindelekile nezifiso zabanye noma ngezintshisekelo zakhe, inqobo nje uma amalungelo abanye engaphulwa.
- Ilungelo lokubuzaukwazi ukuthi omunye umuntu unelungelo lokuthi cha.
- Kulungile ukuthi cha uma ungafuni ukuthi yebo, ngaphandle kokuzizwa unecala.
- Ilungelo lokuzizwa kanye ukuveza imizwa ngaphandle kokulimaza abanye.
- Ilungelo lokwenqaba izicelo zabanye ngaphandle kokuzizwa unecala.
- Ilungelo lokuya ku- beka izinto eziza kuqala kithi futhi senze izinqumo zethu.
- Ilungelo lokuya ku- shintsha umqondo wakho, ngomqondo noma indlela yokwenza.
- Ilungelo lokunquma ukuthi uzokwenzenjani ngomzimba wakho, imali noma isikhathi sakho.
- Ilungelo lokuya ku- ukwenza amaphutha futhi ube nesibopho salowo nalowo kubo.
- Ilungelo lokuya ku- cabanga ngaphambi kokuthatha isinyathelo noma ukwenza isinqumo.
- Ilungelo lokungaphenduli ngokushesha noma ukungaphenduli nhlobo.
- Ilungelo lokucela ulwazi noma ukubuza imibuzo uma into ingaqondwa, kaningi ngangokunokwenzeka.
- Ilungelo lokuya ku- jabulela impumelelo yakho Uma sebeqashelwe, kufanele baziqhenye ngawe.
- Ilungelo lokuzizwa ukhululekile ngawe ngokwakho kungakhathaliseki imiphumela noma impumelelo (kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ibe ngcono noma imbi kakhulu).
- Ilungelo lokuthola lokho okukhokhiwe (isibonelo, uma ukudla kungalungile noma kusesimweni esibi, inani lizobuyiselwa noma lizothathelwa indawo ngelinye elisesimweni esihle).
- Ilungelo lokukhetha ukungaziphathi ngendlela eqinile uma yilokho umuntu akuzwayo ngempela.
- Ilungelo lokuzizwa imizwa engemihle uma nje kungekho muntu olimalayo.
- Ilungelo lokuzizwa imizwa emihle manje zijabulele ngaphandle kokuzizwa unecala.
- Ilungelo lokuya ku- isizungu uma yilokho okufunayo, ngisho noma abanye befuna inkampani yakho.
- Kulungile ukungaphoqelekile zithethelele kwabanye njalonjalo.
- Ilungelo lokwenza noma yini, inqobo nje uma lingaphuli amalungelo abanye abantu.
- Ilungelo nesibopho sokuzizwa sijabule futhi sijabule.
- Kulungile ukuthi “Angazi” noma “Angiqondi”.
- Ilungelo lokuya ku- ukungapheleli.
- Ilungelo lokuba ozimele futhi wenze izinqumo zakho.
Ukusebenzisa la malungelo akusho ukuzibeka phansi noma ukungabanaki abanye, kodwa thola ibhalansi phakathi kwezidingo zakho nezabantu oxhumana nabo. Khumbula futhi ukuthi wonke umuntu okuzungezile unamalungelo afanayo, ngakho-ke isihluthulelo ukuvikela awakho ngenkathi uhlonipha amalungelo abanye.
Ukuqiniseka kuyikhono lobuhlakani obungokomzwelo elingasetshenzelwa futhi lithuthukiswe. Uma ufuna ukushintsha indlela oxhumana ngayo nabanye futhi ngaleyo ndlela uthuthukise impilo yakho yamanje, ungakwazi. Ungesabi ukufuna usizo lochwepheshe ukuze ufeze lokhu futhi usebenzise amalungelo akho okuqinisekisa.
Ngokuhlanganisa la malungelo empilweni yakho yansuku zonke, ngokusebenzisa indlela yokuxhumana ezolile, ecacile, nenenhlonipho, nangokuzivumela ukuba yilokho oyikho ngaphandle kobudlova noma ukuzithoba, kancane kancane wakha indlela ekhululekile neqondakalayo yokuzihlanganisa nawe, okuzuzisa inhlalakahle yakho neyabantu abakuzungezile.