"Ayikho into ekhululeke ngaphezu komcabango womuntu." UDavid hume
Bangaki kithi abangazange babe nomngane wokucabanga ebuntwaneni? Noma sike sabona izingane ezinabangani bokucabanga. Izikhathi eziningi sizibuze ukuthi ngabe lokhu kuyinto ejwayelekile noma ngabe kuyakhathaza? Ngabe kusho ukuthi ingane inenkinga yokuxhumana nabanye?
Kuvamile kakhulu ukuthi izingane zibe nabangane abaqanjiwe; zingaba izidalwa ezingabantu, izilwane, noma izinganekwane, futhi zivame ukubadala ngokusekelwe kubulili bazo; ngokuvamile, amantombazane akha abangane besifazane kanti abafana bakhe abangane besilisa.
Izingane zingachaza kalula ukuthi abangane bazo abangabonakali babukeka kanjani, baneminyaka emingaki, bunjani izici zabo nokuthi baziphatha kanjani, bangaxoxa nokuhlangenwe nakho noma izindaba abake bahlala nazo.
Akufanele sikhathazeke ngokuthi izingane zinabangane abangomcabango, ngoba yize izingane zibacabanga ngokucacile, ngokusho kocwaningo lukaTaylor noMottweiler, banokuqonda okucacile ukuthi abangani bazo abangomcabango abekho, ukuthi bangama-fantasy. Lolu cwaningo luphinde luthi kunempilo ngentuthuko yezingane ukuba nabangane abangomcabango futhi akufanele kubhekwe njengento ebangela izifo noma ekhathazayo.
Kungani abangane abangabonakali bedalwa?
Ngokusho kwesihloko sikaTaylor M esanyatheliswa ngo-2004 kuyi-Developmental Psychology, ama-65% ezingane ezingaphansi kweminyaka engu-7 ubudala zinabangane abangochwepheshe noma bake baba nabangane abangochwepheshe ngesikhathi esithile empilweni yazo. Laba bangane abangochwepheshe bangaba umthombo wenduduzo ezinganeni lapho zibhekene nezimo ezinzima. Bayabasiza ukuba babhekane nezikhathi ezinzima noma ukwesaba kwabo , njengoba ingane, ngokusebenzisana, ingaveza ukukhathazeka kwayo okuningi kumngane wayo ongochwepheshe bese ithola impumuzo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, bazizwa behambisana lapho bebhekene nezimo abebengazesaba ukubhekana nazo bodwa, okuvame ukubanika amandla engeziwe okunqoba izehlakalo ezibuhlungu.
Omunye umsebenzi obalulekile wabangane abaqanjiwe ukuxhumana nabantu, njengoba ingane ijwayela izindlela zokuxhumana nabanye abantu, ifunda ukukhuluma ngokucacile, iveze imibono yayo, ilinde ithuba labo, isungule imidlalo, futhi inqobe izingxabano ngokuphila nomngane wayo oqanjiwe.
UDkt. Karen Majors, ekhuluma eNgqungqutheleni Yaminyaka Yonke ka-2013 ye-British Psychological Society's Division of Education and Child, uxoxe ngezinzuzo zokuba nomngane oqanjiwe. Uthe kuvuselela futhi kusebenzise ukucabanga kwezingane kanye nobuciko, kuzisize zihlukanise phakathi kwenganekwane neqiniso, kukhuthaza inkulumo yangasese, kuzisize zilawule ukuziphatha kwazo, kukhuthaza ubungane, kukhuthaza ubuciko ekuxoxeni izindaba, futhi kuzisize zifunde ukubhekana nezenzakalo ezintsha zokuphila.
Yini okufanele uyenze nengane enabalingani bokucabanga?
Kubalulekile ukungazibuzi izingane ngokhahlo ngokuba khona kwabangane bazo abangochwepheshe, ngoba ekujuleni kwenhliziyo ziyazi ukuthi ababona abangempela . Futhi akufanele sizidelele noma siziphike, njengoba lokhu kungavimbela amaphupho azo futhi izingane zingase zizwe zikhungathekile.
Kumelwe siqaphele ukuthi singavumeli izingane zibalekele umthwalo wemfanelo ngamaphutha azo ngokubasola kubangane bazo abangochwepheshe (angizange ngiphule ipuleti, umngane wami uliphule...). Kulezi zimo, uma ingane ingalamukeli iphutha layo, singayitshela ukuthi ixolise yona kanye nomngane wayo nokuthi bobabili bathathe ipuleti eliphukile.
Ukuqaphela kuvame ukuba wusizo kakhulu; ngakho, singathola ukuthi uma ingane iveza izinto engakwazi ukuzikhuluma ngokusebenzisana kwayo nomngane wayo ocatshangwayo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, iqiniso lokuthi lokhu kungathuthukisa ubuhlakani bayo lizoba ithuluzi eliwusizo kuyo ekubhekaneni nezinhlobo ezahlukene zezinkinga.
Kumelwe sihloniphe isikhala sabantwana sokuba nabangane babo abangabonakali futhi sidlale nabo kuphela uma abantwana besicela ukuba senze kanjalo; akufanele singenelele kakhulu ukuze sibavumele balawule, ngoba kuyiphupho labo.
Masikhumbule ukuthi kujwayelekile futhi kunempilo ezigabeni zobuntwana ukudala laba bangani abangabonakali, akufanele sesabe noma sicabange ukuthi kuyinto ekhathazayo, kepha kufanele samukele izingane, sihloniphe imibono yazo futhi sizivumele zizilawule. .