Ubusha buyisigaba esiyinkimbinkimbi sokuguquka lapho izingane zishiya khona ubuntwana bese ziba abantu abadala kancane kancane. Noma yimuphi umzali onengane esencane ekhaya uyazi ukuthi yisikhathi esinzima kodwa esithakazelisayo: yize intsha ifuna ukuveza ubuwena bayo kanye nokuzimela kwayo, isathembele kakhulu esiqondisweni, emingceleni, nothando lwabanakekeli bayo abayinhloko.
Ubusha buqala ngesikhathi sokuthomba , lapho abafana namantombazane beqala ukukhula ngokukhula okusheshayo ngokomzimba, ukwanda kwezinwele zomzimba, izinguquko zesikhumba, kanye nephunga elinamandla lomzimba. Kancane kancane, izinguquko ziyavela endleleni yabo yokucabanga, ebuhlotsheni babo nabanye, kanye nendlela abazibona ngayo.
Izigaba zobusha zigcwele izinguquko ezinkulu zomzimba, zengqondo, ngokomzwelo, kanye nezenhlalo . Intsha ivame ukuzizwa sengathi isemjahweni lapho umugqa wokuqala ukude kakhulu: kufanele yenze intuthuko enkulu, ngokushesha okukhulu. Nakuba kunezinhlobo eziningi ezahlukene zejubane lokukhula, ubusha buvame ukuchazwa ngezigaba noma izigaba ezahlukene ezisiza ukuqonda kangcono okwenzekayo ngesikhathi ngasinye.
Zonke izigaba zibalulekile ngoba zakha indlela ezobaholela ebudaleni. Kulolu hambo, bakha ubuwena babo ngokomzimba nangokwengqondo; kuyinqubo yokuvuthwa edingekayo ukuze babe abantu abadala abazimele, abanomthwalo wemfanelo abanempilo enhle ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo.
Ngaphambi kokuthomba
Ngaphambi kokuthomba ngokuvamile kuqala eminyakeni engu-8 kuya kwengu-11 futhi kusebenza njengebhuloho phakathi kobuntwana kanye nokuthomba. Abanye ochwepheshe babheka lesi sigaba njengengxenye yobuntwana, kanti abanye basibheka njengengxenye yokuthomba. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi le mpikiswano ithini, okusobala ukuthi lesi sigaba sivame ukuhambisana nokuqala kokuthomba ezinganeni eziningi.
Izinguquko zomzimba kulesi sigaba zibonakala kakhulu . Amathambo aqala ukukhula ngokushesha futhi ngezinye izikhathi ngokungalingani, okungenza kube nzima ngezingane ukuhlanganisa ukunyakaza kwazo futhi kuzenze zizizwe zingakhululekile. Zingase futhi zizwe ukungakhululeki okuncane kwamalunga kanye nokukhathala ngenxa yokwanda kwezidingo zamandla zomzimba.
Ngokuphathelene nokukhula ngokocansi, izimpawu zokuqala zokuvuthwa ziqala : amantombazane abhekana nokukhula okuncane kwamabele, kanti abafana baqala ukwanda kwevolumu yamasende kusenesikhathi, kanye nokushintsha kwesikhumba, ukujuluka okukhulu, kanye nokubonakala kwezinwele ezinhle ezindaweni ezithile zomzimba. Lezi zinguquko zingadala ilukuluku, ukungabaza, ngisho nokukhathazeka, ikakhulukazi uma ingane ingazi ukuthi yini evamile nokuthi yini engekho.
Ngokuphathelene nezinguquko zengqondo, kwenziwa intuthuko enkulu ekucabangeni . Izingane ziyakwazi ukucabanga ngendlela engaqondakali kunasebuntwaneni, zicabange ngezimo ezicatshangelwayo, futhi ziqonde kangcono ukusebenza okunengqondo kanye nezibalo. Noma kunjalo, leli khono lisathuthuka futhi lizodinga isikhathi nokuzijwayeza ukuze liqine ngokugcwele.
Ezingeni elingokomzwelo nelomphakathi, baqala ukuchaza ubunjalo babo bobulili ngokucacile futhi bavame ukuzama ukungena emibonweni yokuziphatha nokubukeka abayibona njengejwayelekile kubafana noma amantombazane. Isidingo sabo sokuba bodwa naso siyakhula, kanye nokubaluleka kombono wontanga kanye nesifiso sabo sokuba yingxenye yeqembu abazihlanganisa nalo.
Kulesi sigaba, ukucabanga kuvame ukuba yinto eqondile futhi eyeqisayo: izinto zibhekwa njengezinhle kakhulu noma ezimbi kakhulu , ngaphandle kokuqonda okuningi. Bangase bazizwe bekhathazekile kakhulu ngokubukeka kwabo ngokomzimba, baziqhathanise njalo nontanga yabo, futhi bakholelwe ukuthi abanye bayababuka futhi bayabahlulela ngaso sonke isikhathi.
Lesi sigaba asibhekwa njengesigaba esizimele kwamanye amamodeli , kanti kwamanye sihlanganiswa nesigaba esilandelayo (ubusha bokuqala). Kodwa-ke, ukukuqonda kusiza abazali ukuba balindele izinguquko futhi basekele kangcono izingane zabo kule ngxenye yokuqala yohambo lwabo.
Ubusha bokuqala
Kwabanye ababhali, ubusha bokuqala buqala cishe eminyakeni eyi-10 noma eyi-11 futhi buqhubeke kuze kube cishe eminyakeni eyi-13 noma eyi-15. Ngokuvamile kuqala kusenesikhathi emantombazaneni, ikakhulukazi lapho kuqala ukuya esikhathini, kanti kubafana inqubo ingase iqale kamuva kancane. Yisigaba sezinguquko zomzimba ezisheshayo nezinamandla kakhulu ngemva kwalezo ezenzeka eminyakeni yokuqala yokuphila.
Eqinisweni, lesi yisikhathi sokukhula komuntu okusheshayo ngaphandle kobuntwana , kanye nokukhula okusheshayo okungahluka ngesikhathi kanye nesivinini phakathi kwabantu kanye naphakathi kobulili.
Phakathi nalesi sikhathi, kuvela izinwele ezijiyile emzimbeni, amabele akhula emantombazaneni , izitho zangasese ziyakhula kubafana, kwenzeka izinguquko zesikhumba ezibonakalayo, futhi iphunga lomzimba liyaqina ngenxa yomsebenzi owandayo wezindlala zokujuluka. Ezimweni eziningi, kuvela induna ebusweni nakwezinye izindawo, okungaba umthombo obalulekile wokukhathazeka ngesithombe somzimba.
Lesi futhi yisikhathi lapho ukuphakama nokwakheka kushintsha ngokushesha . Lokhu okubizwa ngokuthi ukukhula okusheshayo kwenzeka, izwi liqala ukushintsha (ikakhulukazi ezinganeni), umzimba uvame ukubonakala njengomuntu omdala, futhi imisipha iyanda. Ngenxa yalo mzamo wokukhula, intsha idinga ukulala okwengeziwe futhi ingase ibhekane nobuthongo emini uma ingaphumuli ngokwanele.
Ngokuphathelene nezinguquko zengqondo, abafana namantombazane baqala ukufuna izibonelo ezingaphandle kwendawo yomndeni wabo . Ubungane buba yinto ebaluleke kakhulu, kuvela isifiso esinamandla sokuba yingxenye yeqembu, futhi baqala ukuzama izindlela ezahlukene zokugqoka, ukukhuluma, nokuziphatha, ngezinye izikhathi ezihlotshaniswa nezizwe zasemadolobheni noma izitayela ezithile. Ukuzethemba kanye nomqondo wokuzicabangela kuthuthukiswa ngamandla athile phakathi nalesi sigaba.
Ukucabanga kwabo kuhlala kugxile kakhulu kubo: bagxila kakhulu kubo kanye nendlela abakholelwa ukuthi abanye bababona ngayo. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, bazama ukuqonda kangcono imibono yabanye abantu , yize besakuthola kunzima kakhulu ukuzwelana ngempela nabanye ezimweni ezikhungathekile ngokomzwelo.
Lokhu akuyona "iphutha lomuntu," kodwa kunalokho kuwukubonakaliswa kobuchopho obusathuthuka. Nakuba sebekwazi ukucabanga ngokungaqondakali, i-prefrontal cortex yabo isakhula . Lesi sifunda sobuchopho sihileleke kakhulu ekulawuleni ukushukuma, ukuhlela, nokuhlola izingozi nemiphumela yesikhathi eside. Yingakho, lapho besebancane, besengozini enkulu yokuthonywa kabi kanye nezinqumo ezishukumayo.
Intsha esemncane ivame ukungabi namandla emisebenzini edinga ukuhlela isikhathi eside nokuzithiba okuqhubekayo. Ilwela ukuyeka ukwaneliseka okusheshayo (njengomsebenzi wokuzilibazisa) ukuze ithole umvuzo wesikhathi esizayo (njengokuthuthukisa amamaki). Iba nesithakazelo esincane sokwenza izinto nabazali bayo futhi ingase ibe nokugxeka kakhulu, ukuphikisa, noma ukucasuka lapho kubekwa imingcele.
Amaqembu ontanga aba abaluleke kakhulu, futhi ngokuvamile inani lobungane libonakala lidlula ikhwalithi yabo . "Ukulingana" kubaluleke kakhulu kubo, futhi lesi sifiso singabashukumisela ukuba bahlanganyele ekuziphatheni okuyingozi ukuze nje bazizwe bamukelekile: ukuzama utshwala noma ugwayi, ukuqala ukusebenzisa insangu, ukulingisa izitayela eziyingozi ezinkundleni zokuxhumana, noma ukwamukela ukuziphatha kocansi ngaphandle kolwazi olwanele kanye nokuvikelwa.
Lesi yisikhathi esibalulekile sokuba abazali baqale izingxoxo zakuqala ngezihloko ezinjengobudlelwano obunempilo, ucansi, imvume, izifo ezithathelwana ngocansi, ukukhulelwa okungafunwa, kanye nokusetshenziswa kotshwala nezidakamizwa. Akukhona ukukhuluma kanye kuphela, kodwa ukudala isimo sokuthembana lapho intsha ingabuza imibuzo futhi iveze ukukhathazeka kwayo ngaphandle kokwesaba ukwahlulelwa.
Ubusha obuphakathi
Izinguquko zomzimba ziyaqhubeka kuze kube sebusheni, okuvame ukusabalala cishe kusukela eminyakeni eyi-14 kuya kweyi-17 (nakuba eminye imithombo ikhomba iminyaka eyi-14 kuya kweyi-16). Phakathi nalesi sikhathi, amantombazane amaningi asuke eseqede cishe yonke intuthuko yawo yomzimba (kufaka phakathi ukuya esikhathini okuvamile), kanti abafana bavame ukuzwa ukukhula kwabo okuphezulu kanye nezinguquko ezicacile ezwini nasemisipha. Ukwakheka komzimba kanye nokushintsha kwesisindo samathambo: isisindo somzimba esinciphile siyanda kubafana futhi sivame ukuzinza noma ukwehla kwamantombazane.
Ngokwezenhlalo, ukubaluleka kwamaqembu ontanga, okwaqala ebuntwaneni, kuyanda nakakhulu . Intsha ichitha isikhathi esiningi nontanga yayo, kokubili mathupha nangezinkundla zokuxhumana kanye namadivayisi edijithali. Ukucindezela kontanga kungafinyelela esicongweni lapha, futhi imibono yabo ingaba nesisindo esikhulu kuneyomndeni.
Izingxabano nabazali nabanakekeli zivame kakhulu . Intsha ifuna ukuzimela okwengeziwe, ibuze imithetho, futhi ivivinye imingcele ebekiwe. Ifuna ukunquma ngezingubo zayo, amashejuli ayo, ubungane bayo, imisebenzi yayo yokuzilibazisa, futhi ngezinye izikhathi ngisho nangezinkinga ezibucayi njengokuphuza utshwala, isikhathi sokubuka isikrini, noma ubudlelwano bocansi.
Phakathi nalesi sigaba, ukuxhumana nabantu kuyanda ukuze kufake phakathi ubudlelwano bothando nobulili obucacile . Ubudlelwano bokuqala obuzinzile bungavela, ukuhlolwa kobunikazi bobulili kuyaqina, futhi ezimweni eziningi, umsebenzi wobulili uqala. Kubalulekile ukuthi bakwazi ukufinyelela ulwazi olucacile, oluyiqiniso, nolunenhlonipho mayelana nokuvimbela inzalo, ukuvimbela ukutheleleka, kanye nemingcele yomuntu siqu ukuze bakwazi ukwenza izinqumo ezinolwazi.
Ubuchopho buyaqhubeka nokushintsha nokuvuthwa, kodwa kusenomehluko omkhulu phakathi kwendlela intsha yalesi sikhathi ecabanga ngayo neyomuntu omdala. Ama-lobe angaphambili awakakhuli ngokugcwele , ngakho-ke yize ekwazi ukucabanga ngendlela engaqondakali nokuqonda "isithombe esikhulu," anenkinga yokusebenzisa lokho kucabanga ngezikhathi zemizwa enamandla.
Yingakho becabanga ukuthi into ethile iyingozi kodwa baqhubeke nokuzinikela ekucindezelweni ontanga noma enjabulweni yaleso sikhathi. Imizwa yokuba namandla onke kanye nokungafi nayo iyavela: bakholelwa ukuthi akukho okubi okuzokwenzeka kubo , okungaholela ekuziphatheni okuyingozi njengokushayela budedengu, ukusebenzisa kabi izidakamizwa, ucansi olungavikelekile, noma ukuhlanganyela ezinseleleni eziyingozi.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, bavuzwa yizinto ezikhuthaza umphakathi ezihambisana namaqembu ontanga kanye nokuthatha izingozi ezijabulisayo , futhi le mivuzo ivame ukwedlula ukucabanga okunengqondo noma ukwaneliseka okulibazisekile.
Ezingeni lemizwa, lesi sigaba sibonakala ngamandla amakhulu. Intsha eningi izizwa ingaqondwa kahle futhi isheshe ithinteke kakhulu ekugxekweni. Ukuzethemba kwayo kungashintshashintsha kakhulu, kuye ngokuthi iphumelele kangakanani ezifundweni zayo, ukwamukelwa ontanga, ukubukeka kwayo ngokomzimba, noma impumelelo ebudlelwaneni bothando. Amandla ayo okucabanga ngokujulile nawo ayakhula, njengoba kunjalo nekhono layo lokungabaza izinkolelo zomndeni nokuthuthukisa imibono yayo ngezindaba zomphakathi, zezombusazwe, noma zokuziphatha.
Imizwa yokuba namandla onke kanye nenkolelo yokuthi "bayalawula" ingakhuthaza ukusetshenziswa kabi kwezidakamizwa ezifana notshwala kanye nensangu. Kubalulekile kubo ukwazi ukuthi ukusetshenziswa kwezidakamizwa kulezi zinsuku kuhlotshaniswa nengozi ephezulu yezinkinga zempilo yengqondo, ubunzima bezemfundo, izingozi, kanye nokuziphatha okungazelelwe.
Kulesi simo, abazali badlala indima ebalulekile: ukunikeza ukwesekwa ngokomzwelo, ukubeka imingcele ecacile nengaguquguquki , ukuxoxisana ngemithetho enengqondo (amashejuli, isikhathi sokubuka isikrini, imithwalo yemfanelo yesikole), kanye nokulingisa ukuziphatha okunempilo. Isitayela sokukhulisa izingane esihlanganisa uthando nemithetho eqinile sihlotshaniswa namazinga aphansi okucindezeleka kanye nokusetshenziswa kwezidakamizwa ebuntwaneni.
Ukuthomba okwedlule
Ubusha obufika sekwephuzile bungase buqale eminyakeni engu-17 kuya ekuqaleni kweminyaka engamashumi amabili. Phakathi nalesi sikhathi, intuthuko yomzimba ivame ukuba cishe isiphelile : iningi lentsha selifinyelele ubude balo bobudala, ukuvuthwa ngokocansi sekuqalile, futhi imizimba yabo ibukeka njengomuntu omdala ngokuphelele.
Kodwa-ke, ukubonakala uvuthiwe ngokomzimba akusho ukuthi ubuchopho buphelile ukukhula. I-prefrontal cortex iyaqhubeka nokuvuthwa kahle kuze kube yiminyaka engamashumi amabili , okusho ukuthi amakhono okuhlela isikhathi eside, ukulawula imizwa, ukwaneliseka okulibazisekile, kanye nokuzibophezela kuyaqhubeka nokuhlungwa phakathi nale minyaka.
Njengoba lesi sigaba sivame ukuhambisana nokufinyelela eminyakeni yobudala esemthethweni, intsha eningi isizibekele ukuzimela okukhulu emindenini yayo: yenza izinqumo mayelana nezifundo, umsebenzi, ubudlelwano, ukuthi izohlala kuphi, kanye nendlela yokuphila. Naphezu kwalokhu, ukwesekwa komndeni kusalokhu kubaluleke kakhulu, futhi ngokumangalisayo, kungenzeka kakhulu ukuthi ngalesi sikhathi bafune iseluleko kubazali babo njengabantu "abadala" abazoxoxa nabo ngezindaba.
Amaqembu ontanga, ayecishe abe yisikhungo sendawo yonke phakathi nenkathi yobusha, alahlekelwa amandla awo okuchaza ubuwena . Ubungane nobudlelwano bothando buvame ukuzinza kakhulu; ukwethembana, inhlonipho, kanye nezindinganiso ezifanayo kuyaziswa ngaphezu kokuba seqenjini elikhulu noma elidumile.
Kulesi sigaba, kusele isici esincane sokuthuthuka kobugovu obujwayelekile ezigabeni zangaphambilini. Ukuqwashisa okukhulu kwezenhlalo nokuziphatha kuyaqala : intsha iba nesithakazelo kakhulu ezindabeni ezingaphezu kwesifunda sayo esiseduze (ezombusazwe, izinkinga zomphakathi, indawo ezungezile) futhi iqala ukuvumelanisa izinqumo zayo nezindinganiso zayo zomuntu siqu. Ukubukeka komzimba kusalokhu kubalulekile, kodwa akube yinto ebaluleke kakhulu ekuzibonakaliseni, kunikeza indawo izici ezifana nemigomo yokuphila, izifiso zomsebenzi, kanye nendlela ababhekana ngayo nobudlelwano obungokomzwelo.
Uhlelo lomuntu siqu lwezindinganiso zenkolo, zokuziphatha, kanye nezocansi luchazwa ngokucacile, futhi ikhono lokuzibophezela liyathuthuka : ukugcina ubuhlobo obuzinzile, ukuzibandakanya emisebenzini yezemfundo noma yomsebenzi, ukuthatha imithwalo yemfanelo yezezimali noma yomndeni, njll. Ezimweni eziningi, izindinganiso eziningi nezeluleko ezidluliselwa ngabazali ngesikhathi sobuntwana kanye nokuqala kokuthomba ziyahlolwa kabusha.
Ukuvuthwa okugcwele kwengqondo kuyaqhubeka ngale kwalesi sigaba, kodwa kuleli qophelo intsha eningi iyakwazi ukulinganisa izingozi kanye nemivuzo ngendlela engokoqobo . Ngokungafani nokushesha kweminyaka edlule, manje sebevame ukucabanga ngokuthi izinqumo ezithile zingathinta kanjani ikusasa labo lezemfundo noma lomsebenzi, noma inhlalakahle yabo engokomzwelo.
Emindenini, kungaba mnandi ukubona ukuthembela ebuntwaneni kuguquka kube ukuzimela kwabantu abadala . Kodwa-ke, lolu shintsho luyisibonakaliso sokuthi baphumelele ekuqondiseni intuthuko yentsha yabo ibe ngumuntu okwaziyo ukwenza izinqumo zakhe, ukucela usizo lapho kudingeka, nokwakha iphrojekthi yabo yokuphila.
Ukubuka ubusha njengenqubo enezigaba eziningi, ngayinye inezinselele zayo namathuba ayo, kuvumela abazali nabafundisi ukuthi balungise okulindelwe kanye nendlela abaziphatha ngayo. Ukuqonda ukuthi imicabango, imizwa, kanye nokuziphatha kwentsha kunezisekelo zebhayoloji kanye nezengqondo kusiza ukubanikeza lokho abakudingayo kakhulu esigabeni ngasinye: ulwazi olucacile, imingcele eqinile, ukwesekwa ngokomzwelo, kanye nemodeli eqhubekayo yokuba mdala okufanele balwele.