Ukuhlakanipha ngokomzwelo akuyona nje into edlulayo; kuyikhono elibalulekile okufanele likhuliswe kusukela ebuntwaneni. Leli khono libalulekile ukuze izingane zikhule zibe abantu abaphumelelayo, hhayi nje ngokwezemfundo, kodwa futhi ngokomuntu siqu nangokomsebenzi. Kungale ndlela kuphela lapho kuzoba lula khona ngazo ukuqonda imizwa yazo neyabanye, okuzenza zikwazi ukusabela ngendlela efanele futhi zibhekane nezinselele zansuku zonke ngokuzikhandla.
Kuyini Ukuhlakanipha Kwemizwa ebuntwaneni?
Ukuhlakanipha ngokomzwelo (EI) yikhono lokuba nobuhlakani ngemizwa, eyethu neyabanye. Kuhilela ukukwazi ukuqaphela , ukuqonda, nokwenza ngokuvumelana nemizwa ngempumelelo. Ebuntwaneni, kuchazwa njengekhono lokubona, ukuqonda, ukuveza, nokulawula imizwa yakho neyabanye ngendlela efanele.
Lo mqondo ubulokhu ufundwa amashumi eminyaka futhi wathandwa yisazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uDaniel Goleman , owachaza ukuthi ukuhlakanipha ngokomzwelo (i-EI) kungaba kubaluleke kangakanani kune-intelligence quotient (IQ) ukuze kufezwe impilo eyanelisayo. UGoleman wasungula ukuthi i-EI yakhiwe ngezinsika ezinhlanu eziyisisekelo:
- Ukuzazi: Kuyikhono lomuntu lokwazi kahle ukuthi uzizwa kanjani ngesikhathi esithile nokuqonda ukuthi imizwa yakhe ibathinta kanjani labo abamzungezile.
- Ukuzilawula: Ikuvumela ukuthi ulawule indlela osabela ngayo emizweni, ugweme ukusabela ngokuphamazela futhi ucabangele imiphumela ngaphambi kokuthatha isinyathelo.
- Isikhuthazo: Ikhono lokuphishekela imigomo nokulondoloza ukuphikelela naphezu kwemizwa emibi noma iziphazamiso zangaphandle.
- Uzwela: Ikhono lokuzibeka esimweni somunye umuntu nokuqonda ngempela ukuthi abanye bazizwa kanjani.
- Amakhono omphakathi: Ikhono lokuphatha ubudlelwano phakathi kwabantu nokwazi ukuthi yiziphi izindlela zokuziphatha ezikhiqiza impendulo enhle neyakhayo.
Ngamafuphi, imiqondo eyisisekelo yoBuhlakaniphi Bemizwa ezinganeni nakubantu abadala iyafana; umehluko useqinisweni lokuthi izingane zisathuthukisa le mizwa. Umuntu ohlakaniphile ngokomzwelo akayicindezeli imizwa yakhe, kodwa uyayihlaziya, ayiveze ngobuqotho , futhi asebenzise ukucabanga okunengqondo ukuze agweme ukuwela ekubeni yisisulu, afunde emaphutheni akhe.
Inqubo yokukhula ngokomzwelo ezinganeni
Njengoba izingane zikhula, zithola amakhono ahlukene okuhlakanipha ngokomzwelo ngamazinga ahlukahlukene. Ayikho imodeli eyodwa eqondile, kodwa kunezinyathelo ezibalulekile eziphawula indlela kusukela ekuthuthukisweni kwe-sensorimotor kuya ekulawuleni imizwa kanye nokwakheka kwezibopho zomphakathi eziyinkimbinkimbi.
Lokhu kuthuthukiswa kuhlanganisa izigaba namakhono alandelayo:
- Ukuthuthukiswa kokuqwashisa ngokomzwelo: Isinyathelo sokuqala ukuqonda imizwa yakho ukuze kamuva ukwazi ukubona imizwa kwabanye.
- Ukuqashelwa kanye nokuhlonza: Izingane zifunda ukuqonda imizwa ngokusebenzisa isimo sobuso, ulimi lomzimba, kanye nephimbo.
- Silulumagama semizwa: Ngokuchaza imizwa yabo, bafunda ukubiza imizwa ethile, okubavumela ukuthi baveze ngokunembile indlela abazizwa ngayo.
- Uzwela olusebenzayo: Ikhono lokuzwa ukukhathazeka nokuqonda lapho abanye abantu bengaphilile.
- Ukulawula nokuphatha: Ukufunda ukuthi kufanele ukusabela nini nokuthi ungalawula kanjani ubukhali bemizwa.
- Ukuqonda imbangela: Ukuqonda ukuthi yini ebangela imizwa kuwe nakwabanye (ubudlelwano bembangela nomphumela).
- Isixhumanisi somzwelo nokuziphatha: Ukuqonda ukuthi isenzo siwumphumela womzwelo, isibonelo: "Ngiyamemeza ngoba ngizizwa ngikhungathekile."
Ungayikhulisa kanjani ingane ehlakaniphile ngokomzwelo
Amathiphu amaningi okukhulisa izingane agxile kuphela ekulungiseni ukuziphatha okubi. Kodwa-ke, lokhu kufana nokuzama ukusinda enhlekeleleni ngaphandle kokufunda ukuthi ungayivimbela kanjani. Okuvame ukuba yimbangela yokuziphatha okuphazamisayo ukungakwazi ukulawula imizwa emibi . Ukufundisa izingane ukuqaphela nokuphatha imizwa yazo "ukuqeqeshwa kwenhliziyo" okuvimbela ukucasuka kwesikhashana kanye nezinkinga ezinkulu zokuziphatha noma zempilo yengqondo lapho sezikhulile.
Ucwaningo lukaJohn Gottman kanye "nokuqeqeshwa ngokomzwelo"
USolwazi uJohn Gottman waguqula ucwaningo lobudlelwano kanye nokuba ngumzali ngokuhlaziya okuphelele kwamakhulu emibhangqwana nezingane. Esebenzisa izingxoxo, okuqoshiwe, kanye nokulinganisa ngokomzimba (isilinganiso senhliziyo, ukugeleza kwegazi, ngisho namazinga e-hormone yokucindezeleka emchameni), uGottman wathola amaphrofayili amane okukhulisa izingane ngendlela ababhekana ngayo nemizwa:
- Labo abangenalwazi: Bayayilulaza noma bayishaye indiva imizwa emibi yengane.
- Labo abagxekayo: Bayajezisa ukubonakaliswa kwemizwelo futhi bahlulele imizwa engemihle.
- Labo abamukela ngaphandle kwemingcele: Ziqinisekisa imizwa, kodwa azinikezi isiqondiso noma zibeke imingcele ekuziphatheni okubangelwa yiyo.
- Abazali Abakhulu: Bayayamukela futhi bayayiqonda imizwa, kodwa baqondisa ingane endleleni ikhambi elingelona ulaka futhi ubeke imingcele ecacile ekuziphatheni.
Izingane emaqenjini amathathu okuqala zabonisa izinkinga ezinkulu ngokuzethemba, ubunzima bezenhlalo, kanye nokusebenza kabi kwezemfundo. Ngokuphambene nalokho, izingane ze-"Ultra Parents" zathuthukisa ubuhlakani obuphezulu bemizwa, zikwazi ukuzola izinhliziyo zazo ngokushesha , okwaze kwaholela empilweni engcono yomzimba kanye nezifo ezimbalwa ezithelelanayo ngenxa yokuphathwa kokucindezeleka okuphumelelayo.
Amasu asebenzayo okuthuthukisa i-EI ekhaya nasesikoleni
Ukuze kukhuthazwe lokhu kukhula, kubalulekile ukusuka emfundisweni uye esenzweni. Ngokusekelwe kumamodeli okuziphatha okuhle kanye ne-psychology yengane, sethula amasu anemininingwane lapha:
1. Ukuqashelwa kanye nokuhlaziywa kwezinzwa
- Isibuko semizwa: Cela ingane ukuthi izibuke esibukweni bese ilingisa izenzo zentukuthelo, ukudabuka, noma injabulo. Kufanele isho igama lomzwelo ngenkathi ibuka ubuso bayo. Lokhu kuqinisa ukuzazi.
- Ukufunda izimpawu zangaphandle: Prakthiza ngethelevishini noma ngezincwadi. Yehlisa ivolumu bese uzama ukuqagela ukuthi abalingiswa bazizwa kanjani ngokusekelwe ekukhulumeni komzimba wabo kanye nokubukeka kobuso.
2. Ukuxhumana nokuqinisekisa
- Izindawo zokulalela okusebenzayo: Dala imibuthano yezingxoxo ekhaya lapho kuxoxwa khona ngezihloko ezithinta izingane. Kubalulekile ukuthi bazizwe besekelwa. yamukelwa futhi yahlonishwa ngaphandle kokwesaba ukwahlulelwa.
- Izingxoxo zokucabanga: Faka izincazelo ezilula mayelana nemingcele esikhundleni sokuthi “ngoba ngishilo”. Fundisa ukuthi kulungile ukuthukuthela, kodwa akulungile ukungahloniphi.
- Izindaba ezithinta imizwelo: Sebenzisa izindaba kanye nokuziphatha ukuze uhlaziye imizwa yabalingiswa, ubuze, "Ucabanga ukuthi uzizwa kanjani manje?"
3. Amathuluzi okuphatha nokuzilawula
- Amasu okuzola: Fundisa ukuphefumula okujulile, ubale kuze kube yishumi ngaphambi kokuphendula, noma uhambe ibanga elifushane ukuze uphumule engqondweni.
- Ukucabangela izingane: Ukuzivocavoca kokuzindla okuqondiswayo ukuphatha ukucindezeleka nokukhathazeka.
- Idayari yemizwa: Khuthaza izingane ezindala ukuthi zibhale phansi indlela ezazizizwa ngayo emini kanye nezizathu zaleyo mizwa.
4. Ukukhuthaza uzwela kanye namakhono okuxhumana nabantu
- Umdlalo weqembu nowokubambisana: Khuthaza ukusebenzisana nezinye izingane ukuze kulwiwe nokuhlukaniswa nokuvimbela ukuxhashazwa, kuzifundise ukwamukela ukwehlukahlukana.
- Amathuba okuthola usizo: Babandakanye emisebenzini yokunakekela (njengokusiza isihlobo esigulayo noma ukunakekela isilwane esifuywayo) ukuze ubasize baqonde ukuthi izidingo zabo azizona eziza kuqala ngaso sonke isikhathi.
- Ukuxazulula izingxabano ngezindima: Lingisa izimo ezinzima futhi ufune izixazululo ezihlangene nezingezona ezobudlova.
Ukubaluleka kwe-EI ekusebenzeni kwezemfundo kanye nobungcweti
Ukuhlakanipha ngokomzwelo akugcini nje ngokuthuthukisa ubudlelwano, kodwa futhi kuyisibonakaliso esibalulekile sempumelelo yesikhathi eside. Izifundo ezifundeni ezahlukene zikhombisile ukuthi:
- Ububanzi bomsebenzi: Ekuhlaziyweni kwabaphathi, i-IE yayinesibopho sokufika ku- 58% wezinguquko ekuthuthukisweni komsebenzi. Labo abaphatha ukucindezeleka kanye nobudlelwano nabantu bafinyelela kangcono ezikhundleni zomthwalo wemfanelo omkhulu.
- Impilo yomuntu siqu: Ezifundweni zabadlali abaphezulu, i-EI ichaze Impumelelo engu-62% empilweni yomuntu siqu (impilo, ukungabikho kokulutheka kanye nobudlelwano obuzinzile).
- Ukusebenza kwezemfundo: Kunciphisa ukukhathazeka ngokuhlolwa, kuthuthukisa ukugxilisa ingqondo, futhi kuvumela ingane ukuthi ibone ukwehluleka hhayi njengokunqotshwa, kodwa njengethuba. ithuba lokufunda.
Ukuhlakanipha Kwemizwa Ekilasini: Indima Yothisha
Isikole siyindawo yesibili ebaluleke kakhulu yokuthuthukiswa ngokomzwelo. Ukuze ukuhlakanipha ngokomzwelo (i-EI) kuphumelele ekilasini, kumele kuxazululwe ngendlela yokudlala, ehambisanayo, nehlanganisa izifundo. Isinyathelo sokuqala ukudala isimo esiphephile ngokomzwelo lapho abafundi bezizwa bekhululekile ukuveza imizwa yabo.
Imidlalo Eyishumi Ephakanyisiwe Yekilasi:
- Ukuhlonza okubonakalayo: Ukusebenzisa amakhadi anesimo sobuso ukubiza imizwa.
- Izindaba ezisebenzisanayo: Izingxoxo zeqembu mayelana nesayensi yezengqondo yabalingiswa endabeni.
- Ibhola lemizwa: Dlulisa ibhola nxazonke; noma ubani olitholayo usho imizwa yamanje.
- Ukulingisa indima kwansuku zonke: Lingisa izimo zokungqubuzana bese uzijwayeza ukuphendula ngokuzimisela.
- Imizwa eyimfihlo: Lingisa imizwa ukuze bonke abanye ekilasini bayiqagele.
- Umbuthano wokubonga: Ukwabelana ngezici ezinhle zosuku ukuze kuthuthukiswe inhlalakahle.
- Umdwebo othi "Usuku Lwami": Imelela ngokugqamile ukwehla nokwehla kwemizwelo yosuku.
- I-roulette engokomzwelo: Phendula isondo le-roulette bese ulandisa indaba ehlobene nomzwelo ophumayo.
- Ukucabanga Okuqondiswayo: Izikhathi zokuphumula ezimfushane ngaphambi kokuqala imisebenzi eyinkimbinkimbi.
- I-workshop yokulamula: Ukuxazulula izingxabano zangempela zasekilasini ngengxoxo eqondiswayo.
Ukuhlanganisa la mathuluzi kuvimbela izinkinga zengqondo lapho sebekhulile futhi kunikeza abafundi isikhwama sokuphila esigcwele izinsiza zokuphatha ukucindezeleka, ukukhathala, kanye nokukhungatheka, ukuvimbela le mizwa ukuthi ingabonakali njengezifo zomzimba.
Indlela eya ekuvuthweni okunempilo ngokomzwelo iqala ngokuqinisekiswa nokusekelwa. Lapho abantu abadala bebonisa isimo sengqondo sokuzwelana nokuzethemba, kanye nesiyalo esisekelwe othandweni nenhlonipho, sibeka isisekelo somphakathi onobuntu. Ngokuhlomisa izingane ngekhono lokuziqonda nokuzilawula, asigcini nje ngokuthuthukisa isikhathi sazo samanje kodwa futhi siqinisekisa ukuthi ziba ngabantu abadala abakwazi ukwakha ubudlelwano obuhle nokubhekana nokungaqiniseki ngokuzethemba nokulinganisela kwengqondo.