Ingabe ungumuntu obongayo? Ingabe uyakwazisa lokho onakho? Kulesi sihloko, ngikhuluma ngokubaluleka kokwazisa izinto ezincane nokubonga ngazo.
Ngaphambi kokuba ufunde lesi sihloko, ngiyakumema ukuthi ubukele le vidiyo emfushane lapho esinika khona esinye sezihluthulelo zokuba nenjabulo.
Ividiyo isitshela ukuthi ososayensi bathole esinye sezihluthulelo zokujabula. Uyafuna ukwazi ukuthi siyini leso sihluthulelo? Bukela ividiyo:
[Ngincoma ukuthi "Jabula ngezinkinga"]
Ungasho ukuthi ukubonga kusebenza njengomsipha . Uma sizinika isikhathi nsuku zonke ukuze siqaphele ukubaluleka kwalokho esinakho, imizwa yokubonga nokwazisa ingakhula kakhulu. Eqinisweni, abantu abangabongi kakhulu bangazuza kakhulu uma benza umzamo wokwazisa okuzungezile kakhulu . "Ukwelashwa okusekelwe ekubongeni kusebenza kakhulu kulabo abangabongi kangako ," kusho uPhilip Watkins, uprofesa wezokwelapha kwengqondo e-Eastern Washington University.
Ukubonga ezinganeni okwamanje kuyinkambu yocwaningo imiphumela yamuva nje ikhombisa ukuthi indima yabazali iyisisekelo ekukhuthazeni lesi simo sengqondo sokuqashelwa.
Olunye lwezifundo ezenziwe kule ndawo, oluzoshicilelwa kulo nyaka ku- School Psychology Review , luhilele iqembu lezingane zesikole samabanga aphansi ezingu-122. Isonto elilodwa, laba bafundi balandela ikharikhulamu lapho bafunda khona imiqondo ehlobene nokuphana nokuhlakulela ukubonga. Kwenzekani ngokulandelayo? Lapho benikezwa inketho, ama-44% ezingane ohlelweni bakhetha ukubhala izincwadi zokubonga ngemva kwesethulo se-Parent-Teacher Association. Kodwa-ke, eqenjini lokulawula, ama-25% kuphela abafundi akhethe ukubhala izincwadi ezinjalo.
“Isisho esidala esithi izimfanelo ziyazuzwa, azifundiswa, yilokho kanye okwenzekayo lapha,” kusho uRobert Emmons, uprofesa wezokwelapha eNyuvesi yaseCalifornia. Abazali kufanele babonise lokhu kuziphatha ezinganeni zabo uma befuna ukuhlakulela ukubonga kuzo . “Nakuba kungumqondo abavame ukungawuthandi ukuwuzwa, abakwazi ukunika izingane zabo into abangenayo bona ,” kusho uDkt. Emmons.
“Kubonakala kusobala ukuthi lokhu kwakheka kwabazali kuyadingeka; nokho, abaningi babo abakuqapheli ,” kusho uWatkins . “Ngicabanga ukuthi into ebaluleke kakhulu ukuthi thina bantu abadala siqale ukuqaphela ukuthi nathi asibongi kakhulu,” enezela.
Ngokusho kocwaningo, isenzo esilula sokubonga siletha izinzuzo ezibonakalayo . Ucwaningo lwango-2008, olwanyatheliswa kuyi- School Psychology Review , luhlaziye abafundi abangu-221 bebanga lesithupha nelesikhombisa. Bahlukaniswe ngamaqembu amabili futhi iqembu ngalinye labelwa umsebenzi. Iqembu lokuqala lacelwa ukuba libhale phansi, nsuku zonke amasonto amabili, izinto ezinhlanu ababezibonga ngazo. Iqembu lesibili nalo lacelwa ukuba lenze uhlu, kodwa kulokhu labhala izinto ezinhlanu ababezithola zicasula. Umphumela waba ukuthi, ngemva kwamasonto amabili omsebenzi, iqembu lokuqala labonisa isimo sengqondo esihle ngesikole kanye nokwaneliseka okukhulu empilweni uma kuqhathaniswa neqembu okwakudingeka libhale izinto ezinhlanu ezicasulayo.
Ukuthanda izinto ezibonakalayo nokubonga
Ukuthenga ku-inthanethi kusenza sikwazi ukuthenga esikufunayo kalula nangokushesha; nokho, lokhu kwenza kube nzima kakhulu ukuqaphela inani langempela lalezo zinto eziningi. “Namuhla, uma omunye wezingane zakho efuna izicathulo, uya ku-inthanethi, ukhethe usayizi nombala, bese zilethwa ekhaya lakho ngosuku olulandelayo. Abazitholi ngisho nokuzifuna noma ukuzibeka phambili ezinye izinto; bamane bazifake ngokushesha nje,” kusho uWilly Walter, umqondisi weWalter & Dunlop e-United States.
Ngokusho kukaJeffrey Froh, umbhali ohlangene walolu cwaningo kanye noprofesa ohlangene wezokwelapha kwengqondo eNyuvesi yaseHofstra, intsha evame ukuthenga ku-inthanethi futhi ithole ngempumelelo lokho ekufunayo ivame ukubonisa amazinga aphezulu okucindezeleka, izimo zengqondo ezimbi, kanye nokusebenza kabi kwezemfundo . "Ukuthanda izinto ezibonakalayo kunomphumela ophambene nokubonga ," kusho uFroh.
Inani lezinto ezincane
Ngokusho kwabacwaningi, izenzo zansuku zonke zingaba zibaluleke kakhulu kunezenzo ezinkulu. “Bonga umlingani wakho noma izingane zakho ,” kusho uDkt. Hofstra Froh. “Kungani ubonga ingane yakho ngokwenza into okufanele ngabe iyayenza? Ngoba ngale ndlela uqinisa ukuziphatha kwayo; bayayigcina engqondweni, isibonelo, ukuthi kufanele ihlanze ikamelo layo, bese iqala ukuyenza yona ngokwayo ,” kusho uHofstra.
Ukubonga, ukwazisa lokho esinakho, nokuqaphela ukubaluleka kwako yizinto abantu abadala okufanele baqale ukuzijwayeza . Mhlawumbe "sinabo othisha" abaseduze kakhulu kunalokho esikucabangayo...
“Izingane zinomoya wokubonga ngokwemvelo, futhi ngokuvamile yizo ezifundisa abazali bazo ngakho ,” kusho u-Emmons. Umthombo