Umona Ungomunye wemizwa emidala futhi ekhona emhlabeni wonke yesintu, kodwa futhi engeminye emincane ebonwa ngokusobala. Kubhekwa njengendaba engafanele, njengoba ukwamukela ukuthi sinomuzwa womona kusho ukuvuma umuzwa wakho ukubhekelwa phansi phambi kwabanye.
Uyini umona futhi uhluke kanjani kumona?
Ngokuvamile i umona futhi i umhawu Bavame ukudideka, kodwa kukhona umehluko oyinhloko phakathi kwabo. Umona uvela lapho umuntu efuna ukuba nezinto omunye umuntu anazo, noma ngabe a into ebonakalayo, isici somzimba, impumelelo yobungcweti noma ubudlelwano. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, umona uba khona lapho umuntu enomuzwa wokuthi angase alahlekelwe okuthile asevele enakho.
Isazi sezokuhlalisana kwabantu uHelmut Schoeck sichaze umona ngokuthi umzwelo oqondisiwe; Ngaphandle kwenhloso ethile, ngeke ibe khona. Umona ugxile ku- ukuswela kanye nesifiso sokufuna okungokwabanye, kuyilapho umona ugxile ekusongeleni lokho umuntu asevele enakho.
Isenzo somona emphakathini
Ukwamukela umona kunzima ngoba kuhilela ukuziqhathanisa nabanye nokuqaphela umuzwa wakho ukubhekelwa phansi. Emiphakathini lapho impumelelo nokuncintisana kubaluleke kakhulu, ukuvuma umona kungabonakala njengobuthakathaka. Naphezu kokuba khona kwayo ngokungenakuphikwa ekuphileni kwethu kwansuku zonke, siyanqikaza ukuvuma nokukhuluma ngokukhululekile ngomona.
Isiko lidale izindlela zokuqeda umona, njengomqondo othi "umona onempilo» noma umkhuba wokubukela phansi impumelelo yomuntu ukuze ugweme ukuvusa ukucasuka kwabanye. Emishadweni, isibonelo, isiko lokuphonsa isixha kuyisenzo esingokomfanekiso esifuna ukushweleza umona wabesifazane abangashadile.
Kungani umona ubhekwa njengento embi?
Kusukela ezikhathini zasendulo, umona ububhekwa njengomzwelo olimazayo. EbuKristwini, ifakiwe ohlwini lwabayisikhombisa izono ezibulalayo. Ukuba khona kwawo ezindabeni ezifana nekaKhayini no-Abela kukhombisa ukuthi umona ubonwe kanjani njengembangela yokungezwani phakathi kwabantu. Umuntu uyesaba imiphumela yomona wabanye njengoba nje esaba umona wakhe.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, umona awuwona umzwelo one-a ukuzithethelela eyamukelekile emphakathini. Nakuba intukuthelo noma ukudabuka kungachazwa ngezizathu ezithile, umona ubonisa ukuntula ukuzethemba noma impumelelo yomuntu siqu yomuntu onomona. Lokhu kudala ukuthi abantu abaningi baphendukele ekucabangeni njengokuthi "angizithandi" noma "angiyithandi indlela abayiyo" lapho bevuma ukuthi banomona.
Umona ku-psychology kanye nokuziphendukela kwemvelo
Ezinye izinkolelo-mbono zengqondo zithi umona une- umsuka wokuziphendukela kwemvelo. Emiphakathini yasendulo, abantu ababekwazi kakhudlwana lokho abanye abanakho bangase balwele izinsiza ezibalulekile ezifana nokudla kanye nabalingani. Lesi simo sengqondo sisekhona nanamuhla. Siziqhathanisa nalabo abasesimweni esifana nesethu hhayi kakhulu kulabo abanenzuzo engenakufinyeleleka kakhulu. Kuvame kakhulu ukuba nomona ngozakwethu othole imali eyengeziwe kuno-a ibhiliyoni umcebo wabo ongafinyeleleki.
Umona uzibonakalisa kanjani ekuphileni kwethu kwansuku zonke?
Umona awuvamile ukuvezwa obala, njengoba unyanyiswa. Kunalokho, ngokuvamile ibonakala ifihliwe ngamafomu afana nalawa:
- Ukugxeka okulimazayo: ukubukela phansi impumelelo yomunye umuntu ukuze kwehliswe inani lazo.
- Ukuntula ukuqashelwa: gwema ukudumisa noma ukunciphisa impumelelo yabanye abantu.
- Ukuqhela ngokomzwelo: nciphisa ukuxhumana nomuntu ozuze okuthile esikufisayo.
- Amahemuhemu nokuhleba: ukusabalalisa ulwazi olubi noma oluyihaba ngothile ngenxa yokucasuka.
Ingabe umona ungaba omuhle?
Nakuba umona ngokuvamile unencazelo embi, ungase futhi ube a injini yokuzithuthukisa. Uma siphathwa ngendlela efanele, singasishukumisela ukuba sithuthuke endaweni lapho sinomuzwa wokuthi abanye bayasedlula. Nokho, lapho umuntu ehlala eziqhathanisa nabanye futhi ehluleka ukufeza leyo migomo, ukukhungatheka okunjalo ngezinye izikhathi kungaba yingozi.
Ezinye izindlela zokuphatha umona ngendlela eyakhayo zihlanganisa:
- Ukuyisebenzisa njengogqozi: Esikhundleni sokucasukela impumelelo yabanye, funda kuyo.
- Shintsha ukuqhathanisa: Esikhundleni sokubheka lokho abanye abanakho, gxila ekukhuleni kwakho.
- Prakthiza ukubonga: bona izimpumelelo zethu kanye nokufunda kwethu.
Ungazivikela kanjani emoneni wabanye abantu
Uma uyinto yomona wabanye, kubalulekile ukwazi ukuthi ungayisingatha kanjani. Amanye amasu ahlanganisa:
- Qaphela ngezimpumelelo: Awudingi ukuqhosha ukuze ujabulele impumelelo.
- Ungaphenduli ekucasuleni: Kungcono ukuziba izinkulumo ezinonya kunokubhebhezela izingxabano.
- Gcina ukuthobeka: Bonisa ukubonga futhi uqaphele imizamo yakho ngaphandle kokubukela phansi abanye.
Umona umzwelo sonke esibhekana nawo ngesikhathi esithile. Inkinga akukhona ukuzizwa, kodwa indlela esikuphatha ngayo. Ukufunda ukubona umona kithi nakwabanye kusivumela ukuba siwulawule ngendlela enempilo, siwuvimbele ekubeni umuzwa olimazayo. Ukukhula komuntu siqu kanye nentuthuko eqhubekayo kuyindlela engcono kakhulu yokunqoba umona.
Sengiphetha, kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi umona, nakuba ubonwa kabi, uyingxenye yemvelo yomuntu. Uma siqonda ukuthi kuvela ekungazethembini, singahlakulela uzwela olukhulu kithina nakwabanye. Ukwengeza, ukuxoxa ngokukhululekile ngalo muzwa, nakuba ungakhululekile, kungaba isinyathelo esibalulekile sokuwamukela nokuwuqonda.
Por UJasmine murga
Lesi sihloko sigqugquzelwe isihloko esithi “I-Anatomy of Envy: A Study in Symbolic Behavior” kaGeorge M. Foster (1972).